I got to thinking about all of the relationship problems that are seen on social media and in life in general. Why do so many go wrong? Of course, there are many different reasons people say they break up. In fact, the list of excuses is probably never ending. Money, infidelity, lies, backbiting, nagging belittling, overindulgence, etcetera… While these are issues in relationships, I think that one of the main factors that breakups boil down to is a lack of appreciation.
Some examples of this lack of appreciation can be seen on a wide spread basis and some are more specific. I want to discuss the ones that I specifically see in relationships involving lifestyles similar to what Travis and I have adopted. Then, I will discuss some general examples that can be seen involving all lifestyles.
I have seen relationships where stay-at-home moms/wives get caught up in the things they do and forget about their husbands’ part. Spending money without consideration and expecting undivided attention during all home hours are a couple of the ways that these wives fall short in my opinion. I try to not fall into this trap. I appreciate how hard my husband works to provide for our family. I try to be very responsible with our money to show this appreciation. I take a certain amount out for house hold expenses each month and try to stay as far under budget as possible. I don’t go on major shopping sprees because I’m pretty content with what I have and I don’t like spending tons of money all at once. Another way I try to show appreciation for Travis is giving him some peace and quiet when he comes home. He works long hours and deserves to not be nagged about doing things. I try to give him plenty of space to unwind.
I have seen husbands of stay-at-home wives treat their wives with a certain amount of contempt. Their assumption is that because the wife is at home, she doesn’t work as much as he does. I am blessed with a husband who knows how much I work. He understands that there is no clocking out for me. He shows his appreciation by being there when I need his help or support. He also shows it by providing me with a break from certain tasks like laundry or cooking. For example, he always insists on covering supper one night through the work week.
Then there are things we both do out of appreciation for each other. We don’t demean or talk bad about each other to other people. I am always shocked at the number of people who bad mouth their spouse to their friends and family. If an issue is big enough for you to be running your mouth to other people, then the person you need to be talking to is your spouse. We consider each other in plans and decisions. For example, we don’t commit to weekend plans without consulting each other on what all is going on. We also voice our appreciation. We thank each other and not just for big things, but for everyday things. These are the little things that frequently get overlooked.
It is amazing how many relationships could be improved if each person showed appreciation for the other. Appreciating your spouse makes you look for specific things to be thankful for. Anyone can find faults; what is best is to find the good. It builds a much stronger bond and can be cone continually to keep that relationship strong for years to come.